A Starting Place

Reading from Gen 42... here's the highlights
vs 4 - Jacob didn't send Benjamin with his brothers to get grain - He was afraid.
vs. 21-22 - Brothers reflect on what they have done to their brother Joseph. They think this is the consequence for what they did. "So now there comes a reckoning for his blood." (vs. 22)
vs. 28 - They realize there is money in their bags and they are afraid "What is this God has done to us?"
vs. 35 - They realize all the money is back in their bags. vs 36 - Jacob their father says "All this has come against me."
The sons try to talk their father into letting them take Benjamin back. Jacob resists and time passes. So much time that they run out of grain again.
Chap 43:2 - Jacob tells the boys to go back and purchase more grain. When they remind their dad they need to take Benjamin, in anger and fear he sad "Why did you treat me so badly as to tell the man that you had another brother?"
Jacob finally relents and sends them back with Benjamin. But Jacob is beside himself. The chapter ends with the brothers led into Joseph's home. They are put at ease when they tell the servant about the money and he tells them that money was supplied by God.
When Joseph came out he was struck with emotion at the sight of Benjamin. He had to go back to his chamber and he wept. He pulled himself together, washed his face and came back out. When he served them, Benjamin had 5 times the portion of the other brothers.

Things I took from this passage:

1. The past can cause us to act in fear and prolong the journey we are on. What if Jacob would have sent Benjamin in the first place - would reconciliation have come sooner?

2. The brothers believed all this hard time was reckoning for what they have done. If they could have seen what God had in store. They suffered great fear and anxiety. They didn't ask God for help - they were going to take on the punishment themselves. They didn't have God's peace or His timing because they didn't acknowledge Him.

3. Delaying to do what we know needs to be done only depletes our resources more. Jacob let his fears rule and so much time passed that they ran out of grain when in reality they coud have gone back for more resource a couple of times in the time they delayed. What are we doing to stall and delay the inevitable? What are we not trusting God for and trying to do ourselves? Lesson - don't let the chaos and confusion keep you from doing what you need to do to get to the resource.

4. God is a God that restores. He was already working when Joseph put the money back in their bags. He was already working with the brothers and dad when they ran out of grain in the first place. God doesn't restore halfway and this money restored for their journey was just a glimpse of what he was planning to do for them. I love that even this first glimpse of His generosity toward them scared them. If they only knew then what they would find out later.

5. Lastly, we see a picture of the love Joseph has for his own. It was likely the love and compassion Joseph felt for Benjamin that allowed him to forgive the other brothers. Sometimes all we need is that unwavering starting place to bring us to the place where God wants us. What is that starting place I can hold onto to begin this journey? For me, its remembering that the God who said He will... Will.